76 pages • 2 hours read
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Craig begins by telling the reader that “it’s hard to talk when you want to kill yourself” (3). He is at his best friend, Aaron’s, house with Aaron’s girlfriend, Nia and their friend Ronny, smoking pot. Craig goes to the bathroom for a long time, finding peace in the dark with the lights off. He hopes that Nia doesn’t notice there’s no light from the bottom of the door.
Craig visits his therapist, Dr. Minerva. He thinks about the books on the shelves and different psychiatric disorders. Craig thinks that if he had been abused, he would have “justification and something I could work on” (10) but his depression doesn’t come from a particular event. He tells Dr. Minerva that “life is a nightmare” (12) because it is so complicated. Craig spirals when things are complicated or imperfect. He missed an opportunity to do an extra credit assignment and now won’t get 98.6% in the class, which is the ideal grade because it’s the ideal body temperature. He thinks he won’t get into a good college and will have a horrible life. Craig calls these thought spirals his “Tentacles.” He likes things that are simple, like urinating.